Shanti Dynamite Rides The Cock Suck Train To Her Bollywood Dream

Adult Star Shanti Dynamite Pursues Bollywood Career

Death by Party | Shanti Dynamite: Chakra My Brain

I’ve always been a big fan of Eastern Culture, especially India. Too bad I’m poor and I’ll never be able to visit this wonderful country and indulge myself in any of the following:
A.) Hanging out at the Temple of the Rats
—You know that sacred temple they always show on the Travel Channel. Yeah, that Temple; the one with the rats. As a result of my poverty I’ll never be able to step foot in that sacred place.
B.) Drinking the blood of a fresh caught cobra
—Granted, I’m sure a zoo could fulfill my wish but it isn’t the same as snatching one of these bad boys up in a Calcutta slum. I once saw a video of a guy that would kiss these creatures. Drinking their blood seems so much cooler.
C.) Enduring an 18-hour long Cricket match, LIVE!
—My inner sports junkie would be in degenerate heaven. Combine cheap Kingfishers with some Johnny Walker Black and it’ll be off to the races. I’m sure you can smoke in the stands and I’ll bet there’s some good belly dancing that goes on near these events.
D.) Bathe in the Ganges
—From what I hear the fresh water of this wonderful river has intense spiritual powers.
E.) Meet Shantel Dynamite
—It’s not about merely meeting her but being introduced to her on a Bollywood film set. I’d make sure I’m wearing the whitest pants known to man and I’d never remove my Ray-Bans. I also may lie and tell her I’m Bengali so she imagines in her head the joys associated with discovering the tiger inside of me.

If only I wasn’t poor? The worst part about this is the fact that I’m also a pretty fun guy (hence the reason I’m poor). At least my cable allowls me the options of experiencing this wonderful country via television.

By Lou Cervantes

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