50 Shades Of Bullshit Casting

Fifty Shades of Grey Movie Casts Charilie Hunnam and Dakota Johnston Fifty Shades of Grey Movie Casts Charilie Hunnam and Dakota Johnston

Fifty Shades of Grey Movie Casts Charilie Hunnam and Dakota Johnston Fifty Shades of Grey Movie Casts Charilie Hunnam and Dakota Johnston

Death by Party | This was the part Ron Jeremy was born to play

Around the office, we’re movie buffs and wacky fucking gamblers. So of course it only makes sense that we would have office pools over castings of big name movies coming out. I happen to be a mother fucking savant psychic style genius when it comes to this shit. Seriously, I should have been a god damned movie producer because I can really call them.

Johnny Depp as Tonto? Yeah, my first pick.
Ben Affleck as the new Batman? Everyone else was blind, but I could see baby.
I was sure I was gonna get a handie on the second floor shitter when I called out Ron Jeremy and Jada Fire as the dude & hoe from 50 Shades of Grey. I thought it was a perfect call. It’s a porn for old women about enemas. Who else but the Hedge Hog & the Chocolate Plushie could pull off that kind of class?

Did I say $20 PLUS a handie? Yes I did.

The pool was $20 plus I threw in the added grat of having each person in the pool giving me full release during lunch. I don’t care if it’s a dude giving out the tug. The mother fucker has to touch my dong for doubting me. That’s HIS punishment, That’s MY pleasure. No one else has the fever for an afternoon delight like I do, so if I lost, I owe $20 and I’m gonna have to lay my bulge on the desk and let each person take a slam at it with a copy of A Dance with Dragons.

Fuck.

Who the fuck is Charlie Hunnam & Dakota Johnston anyway?

By Marcus Aubrey

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