Devastation

Pineapple Express Weed

Death by Party | Pineapple Express

Join us for Death by Party presents Factory Girls August 30th

Google Pineapple Express and see what you get. I was intrigued to find out my beloved was named after a Pacific weather pattern that swoops in with a fury and contributes its fair share of devastation given the proper conditions. A fitting namesake, to say the least. It’s pretty and sticky and it tastes like fruit salad. It’s one of those strains that makes me sad that I might not see it around again for a while. Those of you who are currently residing in Colorado or California or anyplace else where you aren’t still hiding in the shadows like some degenerate weed fiend wouldn’t understand.

Anyway, you can imagine my excitement when a friend informed me he knew someone who was selling Pineapple Express.* “He’s this new guy I found,” he tells me. “Maybe you know him.” He begins to describe his new guy. Disappointment washed over me like the water in a log flume- lukewarm, dirty and only half a surprise. Believe me when I tell you, this guy is no James Franco. It would be the
equivalent of buying a bag of weed from the Comic Book Guy on the Simpsons. Whowants to go through all of that?

You win some, you lose some, I guess. I should thank my lucky stars to have plenty of Northern Lights to hold me over. I suppose I’ll just have to be patient for a little while longer.

By Helen Harper

*Death by Party does not endorse or condone the use of illegal substances and all references are purely fictional.

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