Super Sized Nightmare

Jack And Dino Chapman's McDonalds Hell Instalation

Death by Party | Jack And Dino Chapman’s McDonalds Hell Installation 

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The shithole town I grew up in was a McDonald’s test market. This means that some big wig team of marketing experts studied demographics of American cities and chose a few of them that best represented the ideal McDonalds consumer: fat, poor and in the middle of nowhere. We were one of the lucky few. Basically, any potential new menu item got released in our area and if enough of us ate it, it went international. Did you know McD’s had a cheesesteak for a bit? Burritos? I do. I ate ‘em. Me and my hometown homies were shoveling down McGriddles months before you suckers were. It’s kind of our claim to fame.

Let that sink in for a moment. Being a fast food test market was the biggest thing we had going for us. Our other notable accomplishments were organized crime, corrupt cops, a per-capita violent crime rate higher than all but 7 other cities, some of the nation’s highest property taxes due to a precedent shattering desegregation lawsuit in our schools, a 37% unemployment rate as a result of the collapse of industrial production, a disturbingly healthy drug trade and a weird modern art sculpture.
Uh, Jack and Dinos Chapman? I think I grew up in your McDonald’s Hell…

By Courtney Shayne

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