West Meets East- In The Butt

Jeff Faerber's Not So Traditional Shuga Prints

Death by Party | Jeff Faerber’s Not So Traditional Shuga Prints

I’m a man that refuses to use chopsticks.  When experiencing Asian dining it’s either my hands or a fork.  I don’t even like using the tiny Asian style spoons for wonton soup or pho.  When the tea comes to the table it better come with a cup of ice and some Splenda, also there better be hamburger buns to stuff my stir fry with.  That is why I’ve been banned from most Asian spots in my town.  They won’t even let me stop in for karaoke.

As a result of my American ignorance the closest I can get to this culture is practicing my crane kick ala Ralph Macchio in the Karate Kid.  Not that the kick itself has worked the handful of times I’ve had criminals attempt to mug me.  If anything it freaks them out and why shouldn’t it; I’m sure they’ve seen what it did to Cobra Kai.  These restaurants shouldn’t force me to eat like they do in their countries.  After all, most of the things I own were made in Asia.  My consumerism has probably opened a school somewhere in Laos.  I wouldn’t be surprised if one day I wake up and actually turn Japanese.

On the flip side to all this, many in our country’s finance sector are starting to go abroad and settle in the nicer cities out East.  With them they bring treats from this country that is sparking the interests of those on the other side of the world.  For example, I heard that Hershey is building a monster factory in China.  Apparently the Chinese go nuts over Hershey’s chocolate.  They also love our Hollywood.  Some American movies are making way more money overseas than in this country.  Before you know it we’ll be changing their cultural landscape just as they have had a massive impact on our own country.  Next thing you know the artistic images like the ones on Jeff Faeber’s not so traditional shuga prints will be hanging on their walls.  We may even be able to work out better exchange rates as a result.  All we need now is to convince them that forks are much more efficient eating utensils than that dainty little chopstick and someday, possibly, I can go back to enjoying a nice bowl of spicy rice.

By Lou Cervantes

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