Andy San Dimas And The Unicorn Army Pittsburgh Pirates Police Scandal

Andy San Dimas and the Unicorn Army Scandal

Death by Party | Andy San Dimas BAD Po Po

This past weekend pornstar Andy San Dimas was tossed out of a baseball game for wearing a unicorn mask while dancing provocatively.  Nobody cared except for the few that found it funny or the fortunate creative-minded sexually liberated people in the audience that may have actually been a little turned-on.  That is until a photograph of a Sargent in the local police office wearing the mask went online.  Then everybody bitched for the ten seconds or so modern media becomes relevant on the Internet.  And while Professional Baseball is a sporting event geared towards the family more so than other sports, I believe the City of Pittsburgh and specifically the Pittsburgh Pirates organization owe this beauty their thanks.  After all, she made them both relevant for a day.  However since what’s done is done and Ms. San Dimas has probably left the little one horse town in her wake, I’ll use today to personally thank her myself and the Unicorn Army she represents.

Thank you Andy San Dimas.  Without women like you the world would be boring.  Just think of how this world would be if everybody was more like you.  I guarantee we’d have less wars.  Especially if all armies were molded in the facet of your legion of unicorns.  Why fight when for a couple bucks instead of buying guns we could spend that money on fantasy masks.  I know what one I’m buying, the deer.  My last name means King of the Deer.  Besides, I could see a unicorn bundling up with a deer for the evening or better yet three maybe four 10 minute snack breaks broken up throughout the day.  I wouldn’t even beat the word ‘horny’ to death like it seems the U-army may get a kick out of.  In fact, the h-word should only be preserved for wearers of the unicorn mask.

Your little online movement may even help others come out of their ice cold shell.  I’m sure the little army get together are quite liberating.  Especially for those of us that aren’t lucky enough to get the necessary practice of human functionality we are all entitled to.  This army represents everything I’ve ever dreamt about attempting in life, it’s the inner-outer body experience.  Your army not only seems to synchronize peace and fun, it encourages sensual pleasure as a reward for everybody.  That’s better than any 4-Star honor or being forced to follow the band Kiss or whatever other ultimate goal other armies out there represent.  Andy San Dimas, your everything that’s right about life and tonight I salute your endeavors.  Hopefully the rest of the online community come to grips with what you and the Unicorn Army truly stand for, what it really means to be free.  Don’t stop in your attempts to liberate the masses.

By Lou Cervantes

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