Good Children Were Rewarded With Hard Boiled Eggs, Bad Ones Were Nailed To A Cross

Creepy spooky Easter Bunny
Death by Party | The True History Of Easter And A Creepy Bunny Collection

So it’s Easter today!

Every holiday is a little fucked up when you examine it, with strange traditions and even stranger histories behind them. Some are religious, some are secular. Of course the most fun and unusual are the ones that mix both.

Easter started out in early Roman times as a spring fertility ritual. The Romans would chop off the heads of all their extra barbarian slaves and hide them in the temples for their children to find. Then they would get together and fuck publicly in a tub of wine.

In the middle ages the church renewed the holiday, replacing barbarian heads with dead rabbits, and priests would secretly fuck in a tub of wine.

Like so many holiday’s, Easter evolved into a much more secular holiday over the years. From the mid 1800’s until the 1970’s, Easter really focused on parents training their kids to be gay by dressing them in pastel suits and plastic fruit basket hats. Children who were good all year got rewarded with hard boiled eggs and bad, sassy children were nailed to a cross and left to die.

Times have changed and as modern commercialism got into the game, hard boiled eggs were replaced with chocolate and pastel suits were replaced with sweat pants. However through all of this, there has been one aspect of Easter that has never changed. The dreaded Easter Bunny.

The horrible pervy rabbit that comes to drag away bad children screaming bloody terror in the night. If you don’t eat your peas and do your homework, the Easter Bunny will fuck you in a tub of wine and then nail you to a cross as warning to all the other children out there who might disobey their elders. I still shutter when I think of the Easter Bunny, but I’m always fascinated by the amazingly spooky costumes people design to represent this monster.

Bellow are some great ones that I haven’t seen before courtesy of sketchybunnies.com

By Annette Garcia

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply