The Secret Is In The Enemas

Death by Party | My Beer Challenge For Red Fang

Once I shot gunned 250 beers in one day. It was part of a bet. My best friend Postie said, “I bet you can’t shot gun 250 beers in one day.” I said “I bet I can’t either. But if you give me a week to get my beer muscles in shape, I’ll prove you a god damned fool.”

It was on.

My strategy for raising my alcohol tolerance to god like proportions was smart, college smart. For the first six days I engaged in hour of power for nine hours at a time. That’s right, every minute I drank a shot of beer all day long. That’s 540 ounces, no joke. On the last day I ate three pounds of flower paste, so my guts would have a concrete like lining. Then I gave myself an enema. Not for any particular reason, just to treat myself. Yes there was lots of vomit through all of this, yes I peed my pants over and over again. Yes Potsie fell off a bridge before the contest could take place and yes I lied about all of this.

But the point still remains. Red Fang are pussies.

Shotgun beers, easy
Red Fang pussies, Potsie dead
Enema for fun

-James Jarvis

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