Kate Jenkins Crochet Hearts
We do not generally endorse cannibalism or crochet except in special cases
Have you ever eaten heart before? No, I’m not talking about human heart. Human heart is a tough miserable organ meat that is miserable to cut, it’s always chewy. Even if you slow braise it in red wine and the victims tears for 3-4 hours, it will still hold a grissley tough texture.
So I have to really just come out and say it. Where the hell did the tradition of eating the heart of you dead ex come from anyway? It doesn’t taste good, it’s hard to prepare and it leaves trace evidence. I researched on google for a full 10 minutes and all I can find about the origin of the tradition is some stuff about Romans rubbing Elk hearts on their genitals for virility. I don’t even know if that has anything to do with what I’m writing about.
So in conclusion, I think we should all boycott Valentines day, or at least boycott the consumption of the human organs of people we’ve had sex with. If you are going to be a slave to tradition, take a trophy finger or tooth and wear it around your neck or place them inside these crochet hearts by Kate Jenkins.
(Then rub them on your genitals for virility.)
Photos courtesy of http://b4be-s.tumblr.com