The Very Best Kind Of Irish

Pornstar April O'Neil

Death by Party | April O’Neil April-Go-Bragh

Valentine’s Day is over which mean St. Patty’s Month has officially begun. Take down your hearts and hang up your four-leaf clovers, for the next 4 weeks many Jager-soaked, Miller Lite sponsored events will be coming to a night club near you. And how could you not want to pretend to be Irish and imbibe on choice shots of the heavily promoted Jack Daniels Honey, or the crowd pleaser, Red Bull and Grey Goose.

I know where you can find me at this year’s St. Patty’s Day Parade, yucking it up in the Patron tent getting down to the sounds of Pitbull and Maroon 5. For on St. Patty’s Day everyone is Irish, even African-Americans. Who doesn’t want a drunk Asian college girl to give them a kiss on the cheek in exchange for some Budweiser shamrock beads.

Now, I don’t know about you, but when I think of Irish women, I think of porn. So it only makes sense that I say none of them hold a candle to the one and only April O’Neil (named after a common Irish Saloon in every town). That brown hair, that Mediterranean nose, those dark eyes! It’s enough to make any man want to don a Boston Celtics jersey and a fitted Notre Dame hat.

By Lou Cervantes

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