Pull The String And He Calls You A “Mother Fucker”

Hot Toy's 12" Action Figures

Death by Party | Nick Fury 12″ Action Figure By Hot Toys

PROBLEM! I can afford one or two of these bitches at a time/ there are so many wicked sweet/ sexy mothafuckas to choose from/ and I’m not sure what I would do with them…am I talking about prozzies? NO! Im talking about the super-dupes, sick nice 12 inchers from HOT TOYS! Wait, that sounded like I’m talking about dildos…WHICH I AINT!?

Shown here specifically, as the forerunner of the new hyper-realistic figures from the upcoming Avengers movie, is Hot Toys S.H.I.E.L.D. director Nick Fury (portrayed by Señor Samuel L Jackson…obviously…have you seen the image above?). In all seriousness, what the Franken-fuck would I do with these things? I mean, not only does Hot Toys make nice-ass Avengers Figures (including Cap America in a costume that pales in comparison to his first movie one. I mean, this one looks like yoga gear), but they make even better versions of all sortsa Predators, AND a crazy as shit-soda Joker Figure? I want, I WANT? But what then.

Anyways. I guess its good enough just to look at them. I mean, I do want to set up a warzone in the backyard with all these mofos and battle it out. But then again, If I were to engage in that, I would have to quit my job, move in with the rents and get acne…again. Maybe Ill be an independent millionaire, and THEN I could buy all these plastic fools. I would probably have to be rich, cause these fuckers cost like 3 bones (hundreds…dumbass) each. Actually, if I’m rich, I should probably focus on getting laid first. I don’t fucking know.

-Nave Zepol

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