Zebra Katz Vs. Die Antewoord Instaloop Fever Nightmare

Death by Party | Which of these two videos would you like to have stuck in your head while sick with the Norovirus?

So up until a few months ago, we were the King Big Dicks of the street. I mean that literally. We were the urban gentrified D.I.N.K couple living on the working class block with the only three story building. Our third story vaulted ceiling bedroom had a flawless skyline view of the city and the extra story minimized the sounds of the neighborhood out on their stoops in the spring and summer.  Then it happened. The ass fuckers across the street built a third story. There went the view. This usurper for King Big Dick status has sat finished but empty for months. I was fine with that.

Now fast forward to four days ago. I got sick. REAL SICK. I laid in bed with a 102 fever retching out anything I tried to swallow along with bits of my stomach lining. I was completely delirious. My wife begged me to smoke some pot, which I am not in the practice of doing. But she insisted I would feel better. I did, and for a little while, I did. The pain subsided enough for me to distract myself for a minute on my phone. I checked out the sick ass Zebra Katz video that someone had posted on Facebook.  Then I drifted off into a strange delirium. I wasn’t asleep, I wasn’t awake. I was hyper aware of my breathing and the fucking chorus was stuck in my head.
“I’m a gonna read that bitch
I’m a gonna read that bitch
I’m a gonna read that bitch
I’m a gonna school that bitch…”

It was stuck in my brain for hours. I finally dozed off for a while. When I came too it was dark and the song had finally faded out of my head. I was still to sick too move and my wife had opened the windows to get some fresh air in. Unfortunately, the King Big Dick house across the street had new residents and they were moving in. They had their windows open too and they were listening to Die Antewoord right across the way. I had a new chorus stuck in my head to go along with my delirium.

“Beat Boy, Beat Boy
Hit That Perfect Beat Boy
Hit That Perfect,
Hit That Perfect
Hit That Perfect Beat Boy…”

Over and over again it was suck in my head till dawn. These hipster girl neighbors don’t know, but a war has been declared. More on that soon. In the meantime, enjoy my pain with the videos above.

By Robert Brown

Zebra Katz vs Die Antwood

 

 

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