Haggin’ It With MiMi Imfurst

Haggin’ It With MiMi Imfurst

Death by Party | MiMi Imfurst: He’s our girl

My mission was to stake out the Drag Show at Voyeur here in Philly. So I rounded up my uber gay: Mantonio.

“Ohhhhh Helen! Hold out your hand.”
“What is it?” I asked.
“Girl, I stole some Xanax from my brother in law and I’ve got a pocket full of cash. Fun Please!”

That is how my night started.

After a couple of cocktails we made our way to the real show- and let me just say- Mimi Imfurst is one big bitch.  I mean, I don’t know why I was surprised, but a solid 7 feet with hair and heels…..  Impressive to say the least.  The show was to die for.  So wonderfully politically incorrect in all the right places- plus the whole thing had a kind of strip club quality about it- which I LOVE, because quite frankly, I love strippers.  Kudos to you ladies, for having the smarts to make a living using what the “good” Lord gave you.  Anyway, I’m getting off track and running out of space….  Where was I?  Oh yes- Boys putting dollar bills in the bra of a young “lady” is always nice to see.

Now for the fun part- the part where everyone gets on stage.  The part where all of the boys take off their shirts, pull down there pants and are darling MC Mimi takes the opportunity to fondle each & every guinea pig mercilessly before sending them into the crowd to beg for money.  I got on stage with Mantonio for moral support.  He did a little dance- she turned to me.

“Show us your tits!”  Without a second thought (perhaps as a result of that “so bad it’s good” cocktail of pills and booze)- up went the dress- I’m sooooo glad I was wearing my cheetah print panty girdle over my tights- I think it was a really good look in undergarments .  I believe girls  need to take more time thinking about what goes underneath those grungy ensembles- I’m sooo  glad I wasn’t around for the bra burnings- I mean, I’m all for equality, but not at what cost?  Saggy tits are way too big a price to pay.

Anyway, the boys meandered through the crowd & I snuck outside and killed a bum. After a few minutes it was time to go back on stage to see how much they’d collected.  Mantonio won!!!!!  I knew he would- because he’s unquestionably amazing. Out of his hand and into the bra of Mimi went the $100.  She did say it was for charity, just not which one.

At 4am we stumbled home with mission completed.

“Ugggghhhh Helen… give me your hand.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“A drag queen took my money and there’s a turkey sandwich in my pocket. Guest room please.”

That is how my evening ended.

C. U. Next Tuesday
Helen Harper

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