Uncovering The Houston- New Jersey Flag Controversy

Adult Pornstar Houston is not dead

Death by Party | Apparently this whole funeral thing is a hoax

A few days ago I opened my writing assignment. A message from R.E. is always cryptic, confusing and at times frustrating. But lately they have been pretty easy going, at times almost fluff. This new one was a doozy that took some serious looking into. It said:

“new jersey flag half mast controversy w houston drug addled once hot aging performer dead”

I had no idea what he was talking about. So I Googled it to find out what controversy was going on with Houston. At first I assumed there was some kind of flair between Texas and New Jersey, traditional mortal enemies. But I didn’t find anything on it.  What came up was info on a girl named Houston. I suddenly realized why there was a controversy.

Houston is a back in the day pornstar and plastic surgery advocate who became famous after briefly holding the world record for gang bangs. She nailed something like 4000 dudes back in 2001. After the super gang bang her vagina was so stretched that she made the news again by having part of her lips removed, encasing them in plastic and selling them on Ebay for 3 million dollars. (I can’t make this up!)

I don’t doubt that people were pissed that the President of New Jersey was treating her like a national hero when she died. I personally am not surprised, I’ve been to New Jersey. I wanted to try and get some more feed back from Houston’s family, so I wrote her site repeatedly over the last couple of days. She tweeted me this morning with the message “I’m not dead, please stop writing me.”

Someone should tell New Jersey.

Check out Houston’s site, and congratulate her on not being dead, or console her for being from New Jersey.

-Kevin Dalton

Photos courtesy of http://www.hot-houston.com

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