I Love Them So Much, So They Must Suck

Philadelphia punk chick duo Slutever

Slutever Will Ruin My Life Soon Enough

Slutever is one of those bands I love to hate because I love them so much. If I love them, then they are probably fucked up and not really worthy of my admiration because I myself am so fucked up that anything I adore is probably unworthy of my affections. Basically what I’m saying is that because they are so great in my eyes, they are probably not great at all, my judge of character and talent is that bad.

I thought my boyfriend Todd was the most amazing man on earth. Then he ran off with my math tutor and left me with venereal warts. I loved my Pit Bull, Captain Rock Shit. But Captain Rock Shit yanked off his leash so he could maul a cop. Said cop then beat Captain Rock Shit to death with a Billy Club and tasered me for good measure.

I love Slutever, they are my favorite band so I know that Slutever will probably steal my tax return, break my windows and leave me feeling empty and hollow inside.

Thanks Slutever, thanks a lot.

-Annette Garcia

 

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