Bijijoo: A Modest Plea For A Return To Useful Art

Bijijoo's surreal paintings

Death by Party | Hang them heads high!

I don’t give one good goddamn about art.  What does a house need decoration for?  Be happy you have four walls & a ceiling. House wares should be useful & the only thing hanging should be a gun rack & the heads of anything them guns killed.

Don’t ask me how to say her name, but I sure as shit like Bijijoo’s art.  She does paintings of presidents holding hams.  Fuckin’ A Right & God bless the U.S. of A.; a ham hock is about as useful as it comes.

She also has paintings of severed heads of Hollywood big shots in ridiculous places.  Those sons of bitches make too much money & take themselves too serious.  ‘Bout time someone cut their dang heads off.

This Bijijoo character also practices necromancy with the facial expressions of Justin Timberlake.  At least that pansy’s mug is useful for something besides smiling & acting girly.

So long as I live, there will never be anything hanging on the walls of my cabin that isn’t dead or useful, so when rats fart out dollars, I’ll buy one of Bijijou’s pictures ‘cause they will do just fine.

-Uncle Awkward

To get your fortune told by JT!

Do not watch this video unless you want your girly city boy groin to crawl so far up your belly you digest your own dick.

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