In Honor Of Dirk’s Love Of Crapping His Pants

UK illustrator, Godmachine’s sick skateboard decks

Death by Party | Godmachine Skate Decks

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Yesterday I was reading the killer interview with “Angry Blue” and that led me back to the interview with “Godmachine” (what’s up with artists names these days?). Both of these artists are fucking power houses and I was digging their work, but then I came across the Godmachine Skate decks and crapped just a little in my pants.

It was a good kind of crap a little. You know, the fart-crap frap after two beef supreme burritos and half a case of Old Milwaukee have traveled through your guts the night before. You can feel the pressure build, but it’s not an unpleasant pressure. When you let it rip, it feels and sounds like you’ve let loose a ballon and then… pop! A little bit of crap. But it’s not a cold, wet,  “oh shit I have to walk bowlegged to the john right now” crap. But a small, ass air warmed, giggling, “yeah, I made that” kinda crap.

That’s exactly what happened when I checked out Godmachines decks. I crapped a little and that reminded me of my old skate buddy, Dirk. Dirk was really into Dio and Iron Maiden and always wore old metal shirts. He was too young to have listened to them back in the day but wasn’t trying to be ironic like a hipster douche bag. Dirk also used to shred a half pipe with a beer in his hand and never spilled a drop, ever. Dirk would have loved these decks and he would have loved that I crapped a little today because Dirk was always crapping his pants. Sometimes more than a little.

Dirk died when he was 19 from huffing glue while driving (he should have stuck to riding his board). So tonight I am going to honor Dirk by drinking a twelve pack of Old Milwaukee, getting high on God (and or weed)* eating two burrito supremes, ordering a Godmachine deck and crapping my pants again. (just a little)

-Kevin Dalton

Be sure to check out all of his work

*Death by Party does not endorse or condone the use of illegal drug use and all references are purely fictional for entertainment purposes.

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