10 Little Known Facts About Kim Jong Il That Must Be True Because We Found Them On Other Websites

Kim Jong Il has died long live Kim Jong Un

Death by Party | Power to the people

As you probably saw on MTV news last week, Kim Jong Il has died.  He was a master of propaganda and social manipulation who was also powerfully insecure and delusional. In a sense, he represents both philosophically and literally everything and everyone associated with us.

We were told that everyone on the web prefers to read things in list form, so we would like to present a few interesting factoids about this stylish and often confused little A-list playa.

Fact 1. Kim Jong Il was born in a log cabin inside a secret base on Korea’s most sacred mountain, Mt. Paekdu. At the moment of his birth, a bright star lit up the sky, the seasons spontaneously changed from winter to spring, and rainbows appeared.

Fact 2. As an established poet, he was inspired by a wide range of writers, including William Shakespeare, Niccolò Machiavelli, Donald Goines, Sun Tzu, Kurt Vonnegut, Mikhail Bakunin, Maya Angelou, Alice Walker, and Khalil Gibran.

Fact 3. Even though he was strong, a talented wrestler, and proficient with an axe, Kim Jong Il disliked killing and harming animals with axes, even if the axe was dull.

Fact 4. According to Vogue North Korea, Kim Jong Il’s iconic style has become a global phenomenon. The inspired look of his zipped up khaki tunics with matching pants has been spreading across the world, an obvious testament to his outstanding image and influence.

Fact 5. Kim Jong Il and Jada Pinkett Smith had what she describes as a “platonic romance.” They met while both were attending the Baltimore School For The Arts.

Fact 6. Kim Jong Il was named after an Inca Indian chief: “Kim Jong” means “Shining Serpent” and “Il” means “Thankful to God” in Arabic.

Bless you Kim Jong Il, may you finally find peace with your homies in god’s hood.

-R.E. Brown

photos courtesy of http://fuckyeahkimjongil.tumblr.com

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