Burgess Meredith’s Sexy Corpse

Happy Birthday Burgess Meredith

The world needs your spunky pep more now then ever

A lot is being said about the waning decline of our Empire. As the crushing masses of angry hungry unemployed begin to sharpen their guillotines outside the gates of the traitorous and criminal CEOs and the castrated, bought off demagogue politicians plea for obedience on the 24 hour cable propaganda platforms while expounding ignorance an disinformation as a virtue, everyone on all sides secretly looks back in history for a hero. We look back because clearly there is no one up for the task of saving us all in our present time.

Burgess Meredith was such a hero. If Burgess Meredith was alive today he would wrestle down an escaped gorilla, solve the health care crisis and have gay sex with Rick Perry all at the same time. Because that’s what heros back in the day used to do. And they would do it without asking for a thank you. When this great thespian and economist died nearly 15 years ago, part of the American dream died too.

But today is the day he was brought into this world. In a small manger in a little hamlet called Cleveland, 106 years ago today Burgess was born full of piss and hellfire and ready to take on all comers.

I had made plans to drive to Malibu last night with a couple employee asset underlings to dig up his feisty corpse to use to like a big dead bat so we could beat some sense into the world, but we discovered he was cremated so the staff played XBox while I drank Scotch instead.*

By Robert Brown

*Robert Brown does not drink scotch


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