I’m Sick Of Zombie Shit, But Gnomes? Why, They’re The New Zombie

Lawn Of The Dead Zombie Garden Gnomes

Death by Party | Lawn Of The Dead Zombie Garden Gnomes

Now this may seem like a really weird way start what is a positive post. I’m going to probably get some serious hate mail for writing this because I’m sure some people will see this as blasphemy, but…

I’m really kinda over the whole zombie thing. I know everyone loves zombies, I know zombie apocalypse this and zombie survival that. There are huge sold out zombie proms and zombie walks and zombie knitting circles all over the country and blah blah blah. And I was really into it for years. I don’t want to sound like some too cool douche-bag and say “I was into it before Walking Dead became a shitty T.V. show.” But the fact is, I’ve been dressing up as a flesh eater since college, it just feels old hat. But speaking of old (pointy red) hats…

While I’ve started yawning at zombies, I really fucking love Garden Gnomes. My Grandma used to have a whole family of them in her garden when I was a kid. They scared the hell out of me when I was young. In high school I ate a couple of grams of mushrooms* while visiting. I was convinced that they had come alive and had bad intentions for me.

That being said, the Lawn of the Dead Garden Gnome have my attention. It’s kitsch from hell, gone to hell. I’m sure this sick lil’ fucker has well made the endless rounds through “isn’t this neat” blogs by now, but fuck it I had to write on them anyway. They are really super fucking epic and I’m getting one and you should too.

-Annette Garcia

*Death by Party does not endorse or condone the use of illegal drug use and all references are purely fictional for entertainment purposes.

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