I Love Him So Much I Hate Him

Artist Brian Dunlap

Death by Party | Brian Dunlap- Creator Of My Special Nemisis

Have you ever been constipated? Does it happen a lot? Guess what? I eat some serious cheese. I mean, I eat whole pound blocks of sharp cheddar like it’s a fucking chocolate bar. As you can imagine, I often experience some intense blockage.

Once I slept over at a girlies house that who had gotten on the dick. At least I think she did. I woke up at her place naked on her living room floor. Anyway, I digress. I woke up feeling compelled to pass a bowling ball through my ass. As I sat there, sweating and grunting, I started flipping through a really sick art magazine she had.  There was this designer that had the most epic print of a Rhino with an old school boom box for a body. It was like a golden moment in my brain skull. The Boom Box Rhino was the perfect metaphor for the blockage in my ass.  For the last year, every time I eat to much cheese, I nervously await the return of the Great Fecal Boom Box Rhino to come demand his exit to the porcelain nether world. It’s been my very special metaphor, my very special nemesis.

TODAY, I’m surfing and faping and I see it. The print that started it all. It ends up that  the artist, Brandon Dunlap isn’t a one hit wonder. All of his works are equally epic, however none of them remind me of soul tearing constipation.

– Jimi Jam

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