42 Reasons Why I Love Gorgoroth

I Love the Black Metal Band Gorgoroth

Death by Party | They make me so happy, I want to cry and cut and cry

I want to present this love letter to my beloved soul mates, Gorgoroth. I’ve mailed, emailed, and psychically sent this to them over two thousand times. Now I want to share it with you.

42 reasons why I love Gorgoroth…

I can be myself when I am pretending to be with you.
Your idea of romance is dim lights, soft music, and a quiet meal.
Because you make me feel like, like, like I have never felt before.
I can tell you anything, and you won’t answer back.
Your undying faith is what keeps my hope in humanity alive.
You guys and me together, we can make magic, the RIGHT way.
We’re a perfect match.
Thinking of you, fills me with a wonderful dread.
Your riffs give me the feeling, that I’m cumming in my pants.
You haven’t killed yourselves, and that’s kinda cool.
I love you because you guys bring the best out of me.
Your all have a terrific sense of humor.
Every time I masturbate to you, my heart misses a beat.
You’re the ones who hold the key to my special heart box I hold in my chest.
You always say what I need to hear (You are perfect).
You have taught me the true meaning of love.
Love is, what you guys mean to me – and you mean everything.
You play the theme for my dreams
I have had the time of my life and I owe it all to you.
When I go through the trash cans at your apartment, I can see your phone bill.
Your love for me is a natural anti-depressant.
I love to hear the sounds of your sick vocals when I’m naked and covered in Elmer’s Glue.
Your love has helped me to rediscover myself.
Your albums are an effective anti-dote to despair.
I love to wake up with dead bodies by my side…It makes my sex better.*
You always make me feel that you are by my side no matter what.
I love that feeling of being secure when I know you are on tour.
I love the way you paint your faces, and you never call me stupid.
Just hearing you feels like I can burn down the whole world.
My Gorgoroth tee shirt means the world to me, it’s special that you sold it to me.
I like your hand gestures that speak volumes between songs. they show how much you care.
I love the way you guys treasure the chicken parts that I gave you.
And, of-course, your intelligence, ’cause you guys were smart enough to fall in love with me 😉

-Uncle Wheat Toast

Be sure to discover the love that is in my heart.

*Death by Party does not condone necrophilia


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