Norwegian Black Metal VS. Japanese Lolitas
Kids, don’t eat too much processed meat
Well, isn’t this a pretty pickle. Here I was, camped out on the roof of our compound with a satchel full of canned meat, a cross bow and 25 rolls of duck tape all ready for the rapture. I was only half drunk and missed best parts of the party because I wanted to take a shot at the four horsemen as they came to fuck us up. Now everyone around here is talking about how the Macho Man Randy Savage created some miracle by driving his Jeep into a ditch.
I’m just scared shitless. They say that Slim Jim’s have mystic powers since Saint Savage’s Macho Miracle. Well it’s TRUE. I ate 200 Slim Jims for dinner last night and hallucinated Like a mother fucker. There were Black Metal freaks and Japanese geeks and we all had a grand pee. I know it sounds gay but I was HIGH on the power of the penciled meat snack. There was also a Rhino cock or something, it was a really good dream. I’ve been finger painting about it ever since.
-Uncle Wheat Toast