Norma Stitz: When “Tig Ol’ Bitties” Becomes An Understatement
This entry is brought to you courtesy of our month-long homage to Women’s History Month, “The Female Power Project.”
Sometimes, in order to find inspiration, one needs to just type a word or two into Google. Doesn’t matter what the word is… something ridiculous is, no doubt, going to just pop up. (For instance, if you start typing in “why does my…” Google will drop down with a list of suggestions, the first one being “why does my mom turn me on?” True story.) Anyways, I wanted to write about the biggest titties in the world but, god damn it, I just don’t know who that title goes to. So how about the biggest titties in MY world… and the funniest, no doubt. Ghouls and Gals, meet Ms. Norma Stitz.
Before I read anything about her, I knew I HAD to write about her. She just seems so confident about her huge boobs that, shit, if you get any credit in the world by the paparazzi, you can get some credit from Rogizoid. I don’t discriminate.
How big are these ta-tas, you might ask? I’ve heard of sizes “double GG” or ” double FF,” but, to date, her recorded size is 72 ZZZ. Yes, that’s one-zero-two-triple-zee. Now, I just had the joy of my boobs getting bigger because of my pregnancy, and I love it. It seems like when you’re young, regardless of what your influences are, a high percentage of women are unhappy with their boobs. Well, Ms. Stitz has got enough to share. I guess it cant be all glitz and glamour and boobies flapping in the air; this woman does suffer some hardships:
-She can’t walk down the stairs unaided (something I would really love to watch.)
-She can’t sleep on her back (neither can I, no loss there….. I guess I wouldn’t actually die if I did, though.)
-She cant fit into a normal size plane seat. (FUCK IT TAKE A CRUISE BITCH, YOU DESERVE IT)
-She has bras specially made for her, and can only wear stretchy clothing.
Her words are golden: “I then had [a] boyfriend who made me realize that I didn’t need to be ashamed of my body. When the time came for us to have sex, I turned off the lights and got under the covers before I took my clothes off. He waited patiently while I did that. Then he came over to the bed and pulled me out of it. He put the lights back on and made me walk over to a mirror and made me look at myself in that mirror. He told me I was beautiful just the way I was.” Thank you random boyfriend, whoever you are, for giving the Stitz back her mojo and letting it be known that, yes, you can have the biggest breasts in the world and still be beautiful.
The best part about all of this is that she has vowed to NEVER get a breast reduction, and by god, that’s a brilliant idea. So whenever you are in heaven or hell or whatever kind of afterlife if you believe one to be you can be like, “Yo how did you die?”…..”Oh my boobs killed me.”