Dragon Ladies Of The New Millenium Unite

Fantasy nail art

Death by Party | Crazy Finger Nail Art: Lethal weapon

This entry is brought to you courtesy of our month-long homage to Women’s History Month, “The Female Power Project.”

Yesterday I was wasting time and I stumbled across a Russian Fantasy Nail Art Blog. I was stunned. This wasn’t the tacky nail options you flip through in the catalog as you sit getting a pedi. No, I’m not talking a little gem glued to the tip of your pinkie or a lotus flower airbrushed on to  your thumb. There were whole bouquets of porcelain flowers hanging off the fingertips and 3D tiny puppets ready to dance on a very small stage.

I’m sure some of you are already familiar with this and are yawning. “Oh Felicia, I found out about this 3 months ago…” To you I say, fuck you hipster, give me my moment.  The site was all in Russian, so I turned to google and it was like jumping down a rabbit hole of more and more ridiculous nail art.

The first instinct is to laugh at how gaudy, then to point out how you couldn’t even hold a drink, then to -wait, hold that though. At some point, women began thinking of taking care of ourselves as a status symbol. “She’s a career woman on the go, she doesn’t need anyone’s help.” But there was a time when status was measured by helplessness. Fat was a sign of wealth, not poverty; helplessness in the form of bound feet and long nails was the absolute sign of prestige. (Anyone about to say that bound feet was brutal and barbaric has never had his crotch waxed.)

I say, bring the helpless dragon lady back. “I’m sorry you will have to carry me into the party on a throne, I am too dainty to walk.”
“I’m sorry you will have to feed me now, my 8 inch Hello Kitty nails are too delicate for me to risk holding a fork. ”
“You can wipe yourself? How provincial.”

-Felicia Jackson

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