The Louvin Brothers
Pass the bourbon, bitch
Whiskey is the devil. Give me enough of it and I’ll curse out my own mother. There are days I wonder why the stuff is even legal when you realize how easily it can bring the Mr. Hyde out of any Dr. Jekyll. Maybe it is the fact that it is the cure for the common cold, or the fact that it can clean any wound that keeps it legal. If Wonders of the World were spirits whiskey would be one of them.
The drink will quiet you as it screams at the top of your lungs. It wakes you up as it knocks you down faster than anything else made in its likeness. At least all of this pertains to myself. Whiskey does nothing more with than gradually bringing out the worst in me. One thing I don’t become when I drink whiskey is sexual. I don’t know if that’s good or bad. It actually does quite a good job of destroying any game I don’t have in the first place. Plus it makes it very difficult for me to get an erection. Masturbating with whiskey dick should be banned in 50 states, it’s worse than sodomy. If not for this liquid being an inspiration for foul mouths and the flying fists that usually accompany them, whiskey would go down as being nothing more than a deterrent for sex. I’m surprised this aspect is not publicized more often.
When I’m drinking whiskey I love listening to the Louvin Brothers. Their music is made for whiskey drinking and all the other things that go along with it like cursing, and fighting, and womanizing (or lack thereof). Unfortunately it’s not good masturbating music, but whoever said whiskey was good for masturbating. Give their music a spin next time you want to travel to the dark side. Just remember one very important thing, don’t enjoy any of this if you’re behind the wheel of a car. Turn into your evil alter-ego responsibly.
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