Reading Is Fundamental: The Necronomicon

The Book of.. What is your job?

If I were a rich man, I would eradicate all of the vile do goodings in the world. I would trounce all of such to goo-doings for like a year and a half. Since such would now hold sway, I would grant you this manna.. this argument which upon you so gently piss. You extol God, we say dog. Panting makes a dog cool, rather than sweat, and rather than sweat the argument, wouldn’t you rather be panting.. in sin?

This book isn’t a bestseller, as it’s in the Best Cellar list. This book isn’t of stories that deal with flesh and blood because this book is comprised of flesh… and blood. If any of you are remanded to this book, you will know something that philistines never knew. What? You need read to find out. It’s Helen Hayes in a handbag and the Charliest Chaplain of your church.

The Necronomicon is what the high school didn’t want you to read… along with On The Road. If they did, however, use this as pertinent reading and tested you on it, there are only three things you need to do to pass. One, light a cigarette and smoke it. Two, pull out a flask and drink it. Three, and this is the signifying crux… mark down all answers, erroneous or not, in blood. This stipulates a provenance and thusly states that you are the one taking the exam and that you are the one of the sacred few that had passed it.

-Robert Kijowski

shhhh. The party is at the Khyber Pass Pub, 56 S. 2nd street

Tags: , , , , ,

Leave a Reply