I Vant To Blah, Blah, Blah

Count Smokula Vaudeville

Death by Party | Count Smokula

So here I am writing my first assignment for this new interweb blog.  And I’m like dude, cuz i’m from accounting i cant write and they say, so what just write about somebody trippy.  So i says ok, i’ll write about Count Smokula cause he’s a trippy dude. Then they are like who is Count Smokula and I said, for real? He’s the dude that wears the fez and plays the accordion. Then they are all, what’s a fez? I’m like for real? It’s just the coolest hat on the planet with the thing hanging off the side don’t you know anything? Then they are all, don’t act so cool, you are just a temp. I told them just cuz i’m a temp doesn’t make me stupid, at least i know what a fez is.

So let me fill you in on some knowledge. A FEZ is a beanie invented in the 1950s. It is traditionally worn by Shriners, vampires, bowlers, accordion players and old women of the age of 60. It was a symbol of mastery over these ancient disciplines and the wearing of fez hats were strictly regulated by the government of America up through the 80s.

Sex icon, Count Smokula is the consummate example of a multiple awarded fez hat wearer. He is a master accordion player, a skilled vampire, a pro bowler and is actually in fact, a 60 year old woman.

So in your face other staff writers, I just schooled you all in the power of Count Smokula and the mighty fez.

-Kevin Dalton

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3 Responses to “I Vant To Blah, Blah, Blah”

  1. Vhat a great idea. You’re on to something. VHat that is I don’t know, but it’s good.

  2. […] Remember this guy? Me neither. […]

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